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The Failed Critics are available on Twitter and Facebook, and an in depth study of each of them can be found below. Should you wish to contribute to the site, send them free stuff, or tell them off, you can email them. Please be sure to use your favourite Jack Nicholson film quote as the subject line. 

Name: James Diamond
Five favourite films: Back to the Future, Life is Beautiful, Alien, Amelie, Pulp Fiction
Who would play you in the movie of your life: Clint Howard
Cinematic turn-offs: Pointless American remakes of Foreign Language films
Optional two line description of yourself written in the third person: James is the founder, editor and all-round Svengali of Failed Critics. You’ll likely find him reviewing obscure Bulgarian documentaries about feminist bakery cooperatives, or the work of Nicolas Cage. He hates Top Gun.

Posts | Twitter | Letterboxd

Name: Owen Hughes
Five favourite films: Night of the Living Dead, 2001: A Space Odyssey, 12 Angry Men, Jurassic Park, Predator
Who would play you in the movie of your life: Jean-Claude Van Damme (I wish!)
Cinematic turn-offs: Singing. Particularly when its accompanied by lyrics at the bottom of the screen.
Optional two line description of yourself written in the third person: Often heard saying “yeah, I’m not a massive fan of that, but…” on the podcast to all of your favourite films, Owen is the resident zombie/horror film nut and prolific film watcher, having seen over 450 films in 2012.

Posts | Twitter | Letterboxd

Name: Steve Norman
Five favourite films: Star Wars, Escape to Victory, Die Hard,
Who would play you in the movie of your life: Despite me wanting to say Brad Pitt or some handsome bastard it’d be either Jonah Hill in a few years time or the late, great John Candy.
Cinematic turn-offs: Musicals. Except South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut.
Optional two line description of yourself written in the third person: Steve is a man whose logic defies convention. Stretching this to two lines is his biggest challenge. He succeeded.

Name: Gerry McAuley
Five favourite films: Alien, Pan’s Labyrinth, Talk To Her, Grave of the Fireflies, The Dark Knight.
Who would play you in the movie of your life: Joseph Gordon Levitt
Cinematic turn-offs: Seeing Tom Cruise in the cast list
Optional two line description of yourself written in the third person: Gerry is part of the podcast team and also writes articles for the site when he isn’t watching strange Spanish films or something to do with Batman. He likes most types of films, particularly those featuring Arnie or other 80s action heroes, but hates musicals.

Posts | Twitter

Name: Kate Diamond
Five favourite films: Goodfellas, Brief Encounter, The Shawshank Redemption, Toy Story 3, Pulp Fiction
Who would play you in the movie of your life: Aubrey Plaza
Cinematic turn-offs: Independent films where nothing happens. Sequels that aren’t better than the original. Rom coms not starring Laura Linney.
Optional two line description of yourself written in the third person: Kate was not available for comment.

Posts | Twitter

Name: Matt Lambourne
Five Favourite Films: Fight Club, American History X, Godfather Pt II, Inception, Predator
Who would play you in the movie of your life: James Spader
Cinematic turn-offs: Sacrilegious remakes
Optional two line description of yourself written in the third person: Matt’s voyage into cinema began via work experience at aged 15 as an usher which lead to a natural progression into Cinema Contact Centre busy body. Being able to see new movies for free and having 100% disposable income to blow meant a lot of bad DVDs were bought and thus created a monster.

PostsTwitter

Name: John Fitzsimons
Five Favourite Films: Godfather Part One, Usual Suspects, Ghostbusters, Shawshank Redemption, American Pie
Who would play you in the movie of your life: Body of Nick Frost, face of Simon Pegg
Cinematic turn offs: If a film poster features a review or rating from a women’s/lads’ mag or local radio station, chances are I won’t like it. Oh and Sarah Jessica Horse face
Optional two line description of yourself written in the third person: John is a financial journalist who likes to spend his free time writing about far more interesting things than money. He is only slightly ashamed of the fact that he has sat through the director’s commentary of Dude Where’s My Car on more than one occasion.

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Failed Critics has grown from the ramblings of one man trying to educate himself on film, to the writers you see here today. We don’t claim to be experts on film, and we certainly don’t try to hide our cinematic baggage under a cloak of supposed objectivity. We just love films; blind spots, weird crushes, unreasonable prejudices and all.

At Failed Critics we’re more likely to break hearts than news. We care not for petty rumours and gossip, and we almost always pay to watch the films we’re writing about. Our personal connection to film is at the heart of everything we do here. Film, like all art, is about the way it makes you feel. The rest is just background noise.

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