Category Archives: Reviews

The Bleeder (aka Chuck)

He went 15 rounds in the stunning 1975 heavyweight world championship against the greatest boxer of all time, Muhammad Ali, and ultimately inspired the billion-dollar Rocky franchise. No, not Andrew Brooker, but the guy in the film he’s written about…

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Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

“We all know how humans work. They’re so predictable.”

In what could be argued as being the first popcorn fuelled summer blockbuster of the year – at least the first that doesn’t have a Marvel or DC title card – Valerian seemed doomed to fail from the second it opened in the US to seemingly poor reviews. Undeterred, we sent Brooker off to see if Luc Besson’s latest is as bad as everyone seems to think.

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Netflix’s Castlevania – finally meeting the gamer’s test

All things Retro video-gaming are en vogue right now. SEGA are putting out games for free via mobile apps, Nintendo is selling as many mini versions of old consoles as they are their latest console, the Switch. Now Netflix revives a lost franchise from the dead, pulling it from the death-grip of gaming’s sleeping giant, Konami. Castlevania is back, and this time it’s a TV show, but does it do enough to seduce Gamers and casual viewers alike? Matt Lambourne, one of Failed Critics’s resident gamers, delves into the darkness to tell you more.

(Note: there will be spoilers!)

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Night of Something Strange

Zombies have never been as unsexy as they have in the gore-filled, not-so-erotic comedy-thriller, Night of Something Strange. Owen Hughes put a bucket by the side of the sofa and watched this absolutely disgusting indie flick through his fingers. Here are his thoughts.

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From the Vault: Blair Witch

In the first of our new From The Vault series, we pluck out unfinished articles from the archives of unpublished material, sitting in the Failed Critics drafts folder, and spruce it up a bit before finally hitting that publish button. First up, Owen Hughes’s long forgotten review of Adam Wingard and Simon Barrett’s found-footage collaboration, Blair Witch.
Originally written: September 2016
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Spider-Man: Homecoming

Unfortunately there are no instructional videos presented by Captain America to teach us how to write a good wholesome film review of the latest attempt at repackaging Spider-Man. Alas, you’ll just have to make do with Owen Hughes’s thoughts on this Sony / Marvel concoction.

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Okja

Korean filmmaking icon Bong Joon-ho gives English language features another crack with a Netflix Original about a young girl and her friend, a giant genetically modified pig, whom she raises in the mountains of Korea. It’s as weird as it sounds, but ten times more lovely – and more than a little bit distressing. Owen reviews Okja: Continue reading Okja

Transformers: The Last Knight

“It started as a legend. One of the greatest of all.”

Whilst The Last Knight might be the last of Michael Bay’s Transformers movies (if you discount the proposed Bumblebee solo spin-off), it still seemed like it was worth sending Andrew Brooker to review this unequivocally dire fifth instalment.

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Wonder Woman

In an ugly, grey and corrupted world, Wonder Woman impresses Owen Hughes to be one of the best comic book movies we’re likely to get this year. Read his full review below.

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Pirates of the Caribbean: Salazar’s Revenge

“No longer will their wretched flags stain the seas.”

Andrew Brooker grades Pirates of the Caribbean: Salazar’s Revenge in the high C’s as one of the most unfairly written off adventure movies around. Read his full review below.

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Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

Ooga-shaka, I’m hooked on a Marvel Cinematic Universe franchise and it keeps getting better. Owen Hughes reviews James Gunn’s Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2.

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