In addition to telling us about the five worst video-game movies last week, Andrew Brooker is back again to take a look at the other side of the coin and reveal of the best.
by Andrew Brooker (@Brooker411)
Next Week! Hitman: Agent 47 arrives next week. As I type this I’m watching the booking pages for my local cinemas refresh hoping for a decent show so I can get a nice early screening and get my fill of video game stupidness. As the days go on I’m getting a little more excited for this movie and I’m hoping and praying that it isn’t complete wank. I’m not looking for award winning cinema; I’m looking to disengage my brain for a couple of hours and just enjoy my time with Agent 47.
So, as my own rebuttal to last week’s Worst Video Game Movies; my super-duper scientific research continues in making the list I’m hoping 47’s latest entry makes it to. Here’s my five favourite video game movies.
5] Silent Hill (2006)
Budget: $50 Million
Box Office: 97.6 million
Rotten Tomatoes: 29%[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JkK8udIqKPQ]
Now, I refuse to care about the Rotten Tomatoes score for this film; or any film for that matter. The thing that gets Silent Hill onto my list is the atmosphere. The original Silent Hill is one of the creepiest games ever made; using the restrictions of the old technology it was made on to it’s advantage and filling the entire game with a thick fog that hid just how slowly the game was being rendered in the background; but as far as creepy atmosphere is concerned the town of Silent Hill is best in show and the film does a fantastic job in replicating it.
Granted, the story takes a mental left turn away from the lore towards the end, something I have lambasted game and book adaptations for in the past, but with enough fan service and actual scares to keep your average fan happy, I can heartily recommend Silent Hill.
4] Mortal Kombat (1995)
Budget: $18 Million
Box Office: $122.1 Million
Rotten Tomatoes: 33%[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHIfHL5UgFs]
Come on! COME ON! It’s Mortal Kombat! The mother of all fighting games turned into one of the most fun video game movies ever made. How can I not put it on the list? I am writing this on the 20th anniversary of the film’s original release for crying out loud, I can’t NOT talk about it.
Directed by Paul W.S. Anderson (the not-entirely-shit Uwe Boll), MK‘s legacy speaks completely for itself (spawning a bloody awful sequel that almost made my previous list) The story of Christopher Lambert’s lightning god Raiden, dragging the worlds best fighters into another realm to fight in a tournament to decide the fate of both worlds. Silly fights and rubbish special effects fill the screen as the Alien Vs. Predator director squeezed as many of the game’s dumbass story elements as humanly possible into a 100 minute definition of “junk food for the brain”.
3] Dead Rising: Watchtower (2015)
Box Office: Unknown
Rotten Tomatoes: None[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWUdPYmPz5c]
Dead Rising: Watchtower is a bit of an anomaly. No theatrical release at all; debuted on the United States’ free video service Crackle and went straight to Blu-Ray in the UK. Released in March this year, the film adaptation of one of the silliest zombie game franchises is easily one of my favourite films this year.For those that haven’t played the games, each one follows a new protagonist as they fight through hoards of zombies in a world where the zombie infection is accepted and controlled with medication, but things have gone horribly wrong. What makes the games something a little special is the stupidity involved in them. The only way to survive in Dead Rising is to find two weapons and weld them together to make bigger weapons. Until you’ve played it, you’ll never understand how I lost hours running around the map with a mate laughing my childish arse off firing masses of rubber cocks across the screen using my dildo launcher and poking my buddy with a giant foam finger gun!
The film sticks to this level of stupidity. It’s gross, it’s violent, but it’s completely fucking stupid and it knows it. Only really for fans, but it’s one of the best ways to waste two hours in recent memory.
2] Resident Evil (2002)
Budget: $35 Million
Box Office: $102.4 Million
Rotten Tomatoes: 33%[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5Rbk7ChmVk]
This is a strange one for me. Considering how pissed I got at Doom for taking more than a few liberties with that iconic game’s story, to laud the first Resi film as my second favourite in this list when it’s pretty much universally hated by fans of the game for the same thing is pretty hypocritical of me. Luckily for me, I don’t care.
Resident Evil kicked off a franchise of some of the most fun action films to grace my blu-ray collection. Substituting the horror of the early games for an action thriller feel with an amnesiac, combat ready, Milla Jovovich taking on an underground lab filled with zombies as her and a special forces team try to stop an outbreak and escape the subterranean complex and the mansion that’s hiding it. Sure there’s a stinker in the six film long franchise; and the quality only really dropped with the most recent (but not quite final) instalment; but there’s no stopping this series and with Paul W. S. Anderson getting the last chapter made as you read this and promising a worthwhile end to (not an actual RE character) Alice’s saga, I have nothing but faith that we are in for a treat when it comes out next year.
1] Hitman (2007)
Budget: $24 Million
Box Office: $100 Million
Rotten Tomatoes: 13%[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XJhNzHyq-IE]
Agent 47’s first trip to the big screen is, without a doubt, my top video game movie of all time; and one of my favourite junk food, sick day kind of movies. Now, I made Owen watch this back on the 150th podcast just because I wanted him to give it a butcher’s and he really didn’t like it. I’m sorry to say, that Owen is wrong and we’re no longer on speaking terms!
One thing our esteemed leader did get right though, was describing it as a wannabe Luc Besson film and I’m absolutely alright with that description. The always awesome Timothy Olyphant dons 47’s iconic suit and tie and brings all the ham-fisted action of Besson’s finest work. Maybe without the finesse that the legendary filmmaker does, but no film based on a video game was ever going to get that level of director involved in it.
Hitman does an excellent job with what it has. Another film on this list that sacrifices the game’s lore to make sure that we aren’t bored to death by the film’s pace. Agent 47’s story is far too long and complicated for a 100 minute movie, so we get the bare bones of the legend on screen and are left to either remember, guess, or simply not care about the parts that we aren’t told. Whichever option you choose, I can absolutely recommend Hitman to any game fan, any action film fan, or anyone that just fancies seeing good old Mr. Olyphant in a suit and tie killing people in an ultra cool, ultra slick fashion.
If Hitman: Agent 47 is half as fun as this telling of the suited assassin’s story, I’ll be coming out of the cinema a happy man next week.
Honourable Mention – Edge of Tomorrow (2014)[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yUmSVcttXnI]
While not in any way a video game movie; it is, in EVERY way, a video game movie. Even the most casual of gamers can see that the film’s tagline, and adopted subtitle, “Live. Die. Repeat” is absolutely endemic of the trial and error nature of video games and playing them. Who of us hasn’t spent hours endlessly playing the same sections of a game over and over again hoping to just get it right this time?
The film, which arguably belongs to Emily Blunt and not her stuntman co-star, took on even more of the video game world when it was released the same year as shooter powerhouse Call of Duty introduced exo-suits to its players; making us all look like the rows and rows of suited soldiers from the battlefields of Edge of Tomorrow.
A movie that is absolutely about video game checkpoint abuse, I can’t not mention Edge of Tomorrow in this little list of mine.