Tag Archives: Flight



In recent years, cinema audiences have been scared out of flying by terrorists in United 93, the spectre of death in Final Destination, and by motherf***ing snakes on a motherf***ing plane in a film I forget the name of. Then, just when you thought it was safe to go back on a plane, you get Denzel Washington piloting your flight. Not that nice, charming, good Denzel; but the naughty, irresponsible Denzel most recently seen in the underwhelming Safe House.

Washington plays Captain Whip Whitaker; introduced to the audience in an opening five minutes which see him wake up in a hotel room with a naked woman surrounded by empty bottles, arguing with his ex-wife on the phone, and snorting a generous line of cocaine. Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain descending into self-destruction. Once aboard his plane, Whitaker gets his head straight with a mixture of vodka and pure oxygen from his emergency mask, which is just as well since moments later the plane suffers a catastrophic failure resulting in a nosedive and imminent death to all on board. Whitaker then pulls off a manoeuvre only a drunk or desperate man would even attempt. Luckily Whip is both, and he manages to save many lives in the resulting spectacular crash landing. The film then concerns itself with the resulting investigation, with our ‘hero’ having to face up to personal demons and the legal ramifications of his actions on the day of the crash.

Washington has received an Oscar nomination for his performance, and I can only imagine it’s for his ability to be the most odious on-screen presence in a film that features Piers Morgan. The main problem with the film is that Whip is so unrepentant, arrogant, and downright unlikeable that long before the end I’d lost interest in whether or not he would gain redemption. The film is also flabby and over-long, with the pacing after the exciting opening 20 minutes making my time in the cinema feel like a long-haul flight without refreshments. Director Robert Zemeckis also seems to have turned up at the editing suite with only his iPod shuffle to choose the film’s soundtrack from. Need to introduce an edgy character? Use Gimme Shelter by The Rolling Stones. Need to show the break-up of a relationship? Use Bill Withers’ Ain’t No Sunshine. Need to introduce another edgy character? Use Sympathy for the Devil by The Rolling Stones (again). This predictability and cliché permeates the entire film.

Aside from an entertaining John Goodman cameo, and the aforementioned plane crash, there’s very little to recommend about a film which collapses under the weight of its own melodrama and religious overtones. As studies of addiction go, it’s also very shallow compared to the likes of Steve McQueen’s Shame which was mysteriously overlooked at last year’s Oscars.

Failed Critics Podcast: COP – Arnie

Arnold Schwarzenegger CigarOn this week’s podcast we review Zero Dark Thirty, Flight, Hyde Park on Hudson, and The Possession  We also induct the second member of our Corridor of Praise. Let’s hand over to Gerry to introduce him…

Murzzuschlag, Austria. The Second World War is ending. Aurelia Jadrny, a clerk in her early twenties whose husband was killed just eight months after their wedding, is working at her desk when she spots a tall, good looking man in his late thirties walking past. He’s wearing the uniform of the gendarmerie, Austria’s rural police, and she likes a man in uniform. Over time, they talk through the window – she works out when his shift is so she’s always at her desk. His name is Gustav and when they marry late in 1945 he is thirty eight, she is twenty three. He is assigned to Thal, a tiny village, and they live in a simple stone house at the top of a hill, 100 yards from a ruined old castle, on the single unpaved road in the village. There is no plumbing, no shower, no flushing toilet, and the nearest well is a quarter of a mile away. They make do, scraping by on his meagre wage through hard work and thrift – an ethic they will instil in their children.

They quickly have a son, Meinhard, and struggle along despite the widespread famine in newly-occupied Austria. In 1947, with the famine ongoing and at its worst, they have another son. In this small, impoverished stone house in rural Austria, one of the 20th Century’s greatest stars has just been born. Gustav and Aurelia name him Arnold, and their big, broad genetics and hard working nature will combine to make Arnold Schwarzenegger one of the most influential men in modern American culture.

Both boys are encouraged by their father to frequently take part in sport, particularly football. As the children grow up, they start to do sit ups to earn their breakfast as well as doing a lot of chores. At 15, Arnold decides to take up weightlifting over football, attending a gym in nearby Graz. The dedication his harsh father has drilled into him leads him to break into the gym when it is closed on weekends. At 18, he serves in the army as part of his military service. During basic training, he goes AWOL to take part in the Junior Mr Europe bodybuilding contest – the week he spends in military prison is made worthwhile by him winning the competition. In 1966, he takes a plane for the first time to go to London for the Mr Universe competition. He comes second but a judge spots his potential and invites him to live with his family in London to train him. A year later, age 20 and with a slowly improving grasp of English, Arnold wins the Mr Universe title – the first of three. He moves to Munich and goes to business school, recognising that his Mr Universe titles are the way to achieve his long-held ambition of moving to the US.

In 1968 he moves to LA, training at Gold’s Gym and embarking on the path to being an American legend. He wins the first of seven Mr Olympia titles in 1970, but his brother Meinhard dies in a drink driving accident in 1971 followed by his father a year later. Arnold doesn’t attend his funeral, and by this stage he’s had his first film role in Hercules in New York…