Tag Archives: Inglourious Basterds

Best Films on TV: 17-23 June 2013

We would like to apologise for being so quiet over the last few weeks, and we are hoping to be back to something approaching normality very soon. In the meantime, here are site editor James Diamond’s picks for the best films on free-to-air television this week. 

DieHardWillisMonday 17th June – Die Hard (Film4, 9pm)

It’s been our film of the day before, but there are horrendously slim pickings tonight. Watching it will help any poor unfortunate father whose family fell for the terrible ‘get your dad Die Hard 5 for Father’s Day’ marketing ploys. Talking of terrible films, one of the very worst I’ve ever seen is on True Movies 1 at 9pm: Runaway Car. It’s like Speed but with a family saloon car, and starring Judge Reinhold.

Tuesday 18th June – Lord of War (5USA, 9pm)

Another less than thrilling line-up of films today, but Andrew Niccol (writer of The Truman Show and writer/director of Gattaca) has crafted an interesting tale plotting the rise and fall of an international arms dealer. The film features an uncharacteristically subtle performance from Nic Cage, and one of the best opening title sequences of recent times. You’ll want to punch Jared Leto in the face more than normally though.

Wednesday 19th June – Hot Shots! (E4, 8pm)

Charlie Sheen stars in the last great Jim Abrahams (co-creator of Airplane and The Naked Gun) film, which has the rare distinction of being better than the film it is lampooning (the horribly overrated and criminally boring Top Gun). Averages about 33 and a third laughs per minute, and features a scene-stealing performance from Lloyd Bridges.

Thursday 20th June – Inglourious Basterds (Film4, 10.45pm)

This film is everything that is good and frustrating about Quentin Tarantino. It’s essentially four great scenes surrounded by over-the-top violence and immaturity, but what incredible scenes! Christoph Waltz commands your attention for every microsecond he is onscreen, and Michael Fassbender excels in one of my choices for Best Movie Bar Scenes

Friday 21st June – Fight Club (Film4, 11.10pm)

Arguably the most feted of David Fincher’s films (although Se7en still pips it for me), the first rule of writing about Fight Club is to reference the famous first rule of Fight Club. Check. You can also watch Fincher’s Panic Room beforehand at 9pm.

In the oddest piece of scheduling I’ve seen for some time, the family-friendly POW/football crossover hit Escape to Victory is on at 3am on ITV1.

Saturday 22nd June – Escape from New York (ITV4, 10.55pm)

The perfect Saturday night film, and the first of John Carpenter’s outstanding 80s collaborations with Kurt Russell. In the not-too-distant future (1997, to be precise) New York has become a no-go area teeming with criminals and led by a scary Isacc Hayes. When Air Force One crashes in this no-mans-land, the military send career criminal Snake Plisken in to rescue the President. Timeless action.

For the three of you who still haven’t seen it, Oldboy is also on Film4 at 1.40am.

Sunday 23rd June – Before Sunrise (BBC1, 23.25)

Quite simply one of my favourite films about love, featuring a brilliantly cocky-yet-vulnerable performance from Ethan Hawke and a please-God-marry-me turn from Julie Delpy. Basically a 90 minute dialogue between two strangers who find themselves sharing a day and night in Vienna, where nothing much happens, but the protagonists are changed forever. Watch this, hunt down the sequel Before Sunset, then count the days until Before Midnight is released next month.

Using Windows 95 to defeat aliens, and other plot holes

The podcast’s very own Steve Norman talks us through the various plot-holes, and narrative choices in films that beguile, frustrate, and bemuse him. BEWARE – HERE BE SPOILERS…


Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

Before he’s became president Abe was a vampire hunter going after the people who wronged his family. In his training he learnt that his weapon of choice had to be finished in silver to kill the enemy permanently.

Then when the vampires join the south during the civil war Lincoln seems to forget the fact that silver kills them for years, almost until it’s too late.

Surely such an experienced vampire slayer and one of the greatest men to have ever lived wouldn’t have overlooked such an important fact.

GOAL!

Mentioned in another article but a Mexican illegal immigrant living in the United States with no real footballing pedigree or background beyond an organised kick a bout would not be able to get a work permit to play for Newcastle United.

Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope

Robots are pretty clever in Star Wars. C3PO can calculate the odds of navigating an asteroid field quicker than Ladbrokes can work out the odds of your five team accumulator. He can speak 3 million languages and in those awful prequels robots made up the whole Trade Federation army.

So why would the Empire not blast a single escape pod out of the sky just because it had no life forms on board. You’d have thought some jobs worth would have pulled the trigger as it was an Imperial directive 7563.

The Shawshank Redemption

Not breaking any ground with this revelation so I won’t dwell on it too much but how did Andy Dufresne get the poster back on the wall?

Indiana Jones: The Raiders of the Lost Ark

Not really a plot hole as Indy didn’t know what he was doing but Indiana Jones is responsible for the Second World War and the atrocities committed by the Nazis. If he doesn’t stop the Nazis, the Ark of the Covenant will make its way directly to Berlin and Adolf Hitler. When history’s second famous moustache (behind Neville Southall) opens the big box he and the majority of his high command will have their face melted off.

War over.

Toy Story

The toys know they are a toy that’s why they act inanimate and like toys when humans, or even dogs, are around. But when Buzz Lightyear comes into the fold he thinks he is a space ranger. So why does he act like a toy when Andy’s in the room?

Inglourious Basterds

Hugo Stiglitz is so famous everyone in the German army has heard of him. His face is in the papers as a traitor. So why when the Basterds go to the Inn does nobody recognise him?

Independence Day

I didn’t really want to include it but it’s in the title. However how an advanced alien race is able to have their systems hacked by Windows 95 is explained in a deleted scene. On that basis I’ll let it slide.

Feel free to offer up explanations to some of the ‘plot holes’ above, or even let us know the plot holes that have annoyed you over the years.