Tag Archives: Oliver Platt

FrightFest 2016 – Day Three

“You came here.  Of your own free will and volition.”

Here I am, sat in a dimly lit red corridor surrounded by strange models of bleeding hearts and instruments of torture, along with more than a handful of likeminded horror fans preparing our arses for a marathon horror session.

In a way, I’m glad that I couldn’t take the day off to hit day two yesterday. As much as I love the idea of a weekend of non-stop horror, the idea of sitting in a cinema for more than 12 hours a day for four days is scarier than anything they could put on screen. Strangely, I’m kind of grateful.

Luckily today sees a couple of films I really want to watch hitting that screen; some stuff I’ve been waiting to see for a while and some stuff from a director I really love to watch work. So now the doors are open and I’m going in to see what kind of tat has been left on my seat today. I’ll catch you on the other side.


The Rezort

“Seriously. Fuck this island!”

Kicking off this morning’s festivities is this little zombie number. Introduced by the film’s director Steve Barker – of Outpost fame.

This fun little thriller centres on a group of tourists who visit “The Rezort”: a place filled with zombie leftovers of a years ago outbreak that people now pay to visit and quench their bloodlust. These tourists are left for dead when the multi-billion dollar fortress on the centre of the island is hacked and its security compromised. With the horde now loose and no way to stop them, the survivors only have a few hours to escape the island before it is levelled in an attempt to quarantine the virus.

Superb world building, and a cast that includes Dougray Scott seemingly having a ton of fun with this not-wholly-original but slightly-different take on zombie films. It’s refreshing to have a film where everyone already knows what a zombie is and the whole Jurassic Park meets Dead Island thing it has going is awesome.

Basically, The Rezort is what happens when you take video games movies away from Uwe Boll.


Abattoir

“You’re the last piece of this house’s puzzle.”

Darren Lynn Bousman, director of several Saw sequels and bizarre musical Repo: The Genetic Opera has returned to the horror genre with some interesting new ideas.

A throwback to noir mystery thrillers, Abattoir follows Julia (Jessica Lownders), a journalist trying to solve the mystery behind a series of bizarre acts centred around houses where a crime has been committed. Stumbling upon it after the room her sister and nephew are murdered in is stripped from he house, she drags her cop boyfriend Grady (Joe Anderson, who we saw at the start of the festival in My Father, Die) along to investigate the stranger that’s seemingly responsible for these weird goings on.

What starts like a violent mystery thriller quickly becomes a fun ghost story. The old collector, played with a brilliantly creepy tone by Deadwood‘s Dayton Callie, is one of my favourite bad guys/story tellers in quite a while. Bousman has put a creepy little film together that culminates in a brilliantly bat-shit haunted house segment that doesn’t scare you as much as show just how many different ways the man can think of killing people. Loved it. Well worth the wait.


The Master Cleanse

“I just wasn’t strong enough to finish.”

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Crap knows what this was. A strange creature-feature drama type thing that invoked memories of Gremlins, except not as scary. A strange choice for a horror festival, The Master Cleanse sees Johnny Galecki and Anna Friel as a pair of lost souls looking to improve their lives with the ultimate cleansing retreat. Shipping themselves off to the country resort run by Oliver Platt and Angelica Houston, the pair are put through a cleanse that (quite literally) puts their negative energy in front of them to confront.

I went in to this one pretty blind, not having a clue what I was letting myself in for. This weird little tale that starts with people throwing up little monsters that represent all the bad stuff in your life, just keeps going down the rabbit hole after that. The stars are decent in roles that, for the most part, I think are pretty alien to them. Strange little flick, I might need to watch it again to decide whether or not I like it.


Sadako Vs. Kayako

“One of you has to be sacrificed.”

So I went into is one a full blown skeptic. A fan of both Ringu and Ju-On, I wasn’t entirely convinced that a grudge match film was the way to go. I didn’t think it was the kind of film that really lent itself to the tonal shift you needed for something like this. There’s no two ways about it: you’ve got to bring the laughs Freddy Vs. Jason style or things could go awfully wrong.

I’m happy to report that I was wrong to be too worried. Sadako Vs. Kayako is a ton of fun on the big screen. It makes the smart decision early on to not take itself too seriously, substituting real creepy scares for (perhaps unintentional) laughs. It proves that Japanese cinema still has what it takes to be creepy and jumpy – even if we see very little of either here – but that it’s also willing to evolve a little to make itself relevant. While this is certainly Sadako’s film in so many ways; Kayako and Toshio are still the creepiest fucking things I’ve ever seen in my life!


Beyond The Gates

“Maybe don’t touch that again.”

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Now, who’d have thought that a day that involved a Ringu film would actually have not only another film with a cursed video tape, but a better one? Certainly not this festival goer.

But here we are, not only a film with a haunted tape, but one that goes full on retro with its look. Remember those board games that had video tapes? I think Atmosfear was probably the biggest one in the UK. Well, here’s a horror flick, filmed to look like it was plucked from a 90’s Blockbuster video, that is based completely on a family playing this insane board game – Beyond The Gates – trying to beat the maniacal woman on the tape running the game and save their dad’s soul.

A couple of decent scares, but so, so many ludicrously funny bits. A cracking little movie that sits up there with Deathgasm for me. Just without the heavy metal and insane language!


Blood Feast

“Soon, my queen will be reborn.”

So we round off the day with a remake of the 1963 splatter flick Blood Feast. Now, I’ve never seen the original, but in his chat before the film director Marcel Walz assured us that original director H G Lewis was pleased with the film. If that’s true, I’ll never be watching the original. Because man oh man was this a terrible film.

We’re talking: the entire auditorium was howling with laughter at every uttered line; the painfully terrible script; and the even worse acting. This film, about a restaurant owner who starts slaughtering people to appease an ancient Egyptian God, starts with a warning about how nasty it is, how those with anxiety or heart conditions should not watch and how the filmmakers are not responsible for your well-being. That should have been the first warning. The second should have told us that if you wanted to watch a decent, well made film, you’d come to the wrong place. So bad was this film, that the close up of this guy sawing another guys dick off not only didn’t shock us, but with the level of torture this mans screenwriting had been putting us through, it was a welcome break from the rest of this accidently horrific film.


T-t-t-t-that’s all, folks.

A cinema fill of people shuffle out like old zombies at nearly 1am, thoroughly disappointed at the downward spiral the day took at the end. A couple of excellent and a couple of very good films today, but all we’ll remember is the confused mumblings of a repressed director who clearly wasn’t hugged enough as a child.

Hopefully, tomorrow doesn’t go the same way. Tomorrow closes out with my most anticipated of the weekend and I’d hate to feel this disappointed after 31.

Anyways. Home. I’ve got to get to my bed. Because I’m back in the road in 8 hours for day four.

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Chef

ChefChef is basically two hours of Jon Favreau working through his issues with the studio system.  Mainly because of this, it’s rather entertaining.

by Callum Petch (Twitter: @CallumPetch)

Chef is Jon Favreau: The Movie.  Any pretence that this film is telling a story about characters that have no relation to the film’s writer, director and star is jettisoned the moment Dustin Hoffman swaggers in and orders Jon Favreau’s chef to cook by menu, “play [his] hits,” as it were, and that, if he doesn’t like it, there are a million other people that Dustin Hoffman could easily replace Jon Favreau with as director of the kitchen.  If not by then, then it will most certainly become clear when Jon blows up at a food critic who trashed his cooking, questioning whether he cares that the hurtful stuff he writes genuinely hurts those he writes about.  This is not subtle.  It makes the high school parallels in Divergent look like the lyrics to a They Might Be Giants song.  The film permanently seems five seconds away from actually dropping all of the pretence and having everyone just dramatize Jon Favreau’s post-Iron Man life.

One, therefore, may see Chef as a vanity project and little more, what with its extremely unsubtle real-life parallels, starring role for Favreau that lets him stretch himself beyond ‘funny comic relief guy’ and that he casts both Sofia Vergara and Scarlett Johansson as his ex-wife and possible ex-lover respectively (the latter of which outright tells Favreau’s character at one point that he’s the best chef she ever worked with).  And… well… yeah, it kinda is.  The actual character work, and characters in general, populating the film are flimsy and undercooked and, once things head to Miami, nothing ever goes wrong for Favreau ever because he is the world’s greatest chef if people will just LET HIM DO WHAT HE DOES BEST INSTEAD OF CONSTRAINING HIS CREATIVE GENIUS, DAMMIT!!  That being said, I’d recommend not writing off Chef sight unseen.  It’s nothing revolutionary, it’s nothing memorable, but it is mildly amusing, rather entertaining, nearly always interesting and, brace yourself for the big one, it’s a comedy that runs for two hours… that I can’t see cutting down to 100 minutes!

Oh, I have your attention now, do I?

Our story, then.  By the by, I’m going to dispense with much of the pretence and just straight up tell you the “subtext” cos it’s that unsubtle and it saves me time later on.  Jon Favreau is a chef, a very well-respected chef, at that, who caused a splash ten years ago as a hungry guy wanting to make a name for himself.  He’s currently employed at a big, fancy and relatively famous restaurant that’s about to get reviewed by the biggest food blogger in town and he wants to surprise the guy, cook up something original and shocking and biting and all that jazz.  The restaurant’s owner, Dustin Hoffman, thinks that’s not a good idea, being too risk-averse, and orders Favreau to cook by menu, reasoning that people who go to see The Rolling Stones want to hear them play ‘Satisfaction’.  This ends disastrously, Favreau’s heart is clearly not in it and the critic tears apart both the food, which is too safe and generic, and Favreau himself, believing him to be over-the-hill and also fat jokes cos critics are dicks.

Favreau does not take this well, with the review and Favreau’s resulting meltdown at the critic going viral.  Fired from his job for refusing to follow orders, Favreau’s ex-wife (played by Sofia Vergara) convinces him to meet her successful first ex-husband, Robert Downey Jr., and get back to basics.  Gifted a food truck, Favreau decides to take his little low budget venture on the road, making smaller products with more heart that may connect with the public more and revitalise his love for his art.  Tagging along are his son, EmJay Anthony, who doesn’t see his dad much but aspires to follow in his culinary footsteps, and his old workmate, represented here by John Leguizamo, where father and son may just bond together and learn a thing or two about a thing or two.

It’s even less subtle than that, before you ask.  A good 50-60% of Chef really is just Jon Favreau working through his frustrating studio experiences via the thinnest of metaphors.  Not that that’s a bad thing inherently, mind.  A fair bit of the film’s entertainment value comes from just how far the metaphor goes, in much the same way that 22 Jump Street’s appeal comes from just how far that film is willing to push its central joke, “we are a pointless sequel and we’re well aware of that fact.”  It also helps that the execution is rarely cringe worthy or overly blatant, the lone exceptions come during the times when Favreau meets up with the critic that wrote the nasty things about him (embodied by Oliver Platt).  Those times trot out the usual “what you say hurts me! I make art, what do you do?  Just sit behind your computer and vomit words” clichés that typically accompany artists ranting against critics.  (It’s not the heckler bit from Louie, is what I’m getting at.)  Otherwise, the execution remains interesting, it becomes a kind of fun little exercise to see Favreau working through his problems and seemingly rediscovering his love for filmmaking.

See, the film does have characters, which makes this a landmark point in Sofia Vergara’s acting career if nothing else, but they take a backseat, along with nearly everything else that’s not related to the metaphor.  Even the food stuff feels more like an extension of that metaphor instead of a total love of food, there are several scenes where Favreau explains his creative process to his son that come across far more as his creative process to filmmaking than food-making (especially when he mentions that he first goes looking for ingredients and only then decides what he’s going to cook, he doesn’t go in with a fully-formed pl-it’s a reference to the creation of Iron Man, alright).  The whole enterprise feels less like a story that Favreau wanted to tell and more like he just decided to make a film and see if it made him fall in love with filmmaking again.  Such a theory is practically confirmed when it comes time for the film’s ending to occur, which the film practically crashes into and is over before it has a chance to become satisfying.  Again, though, it is fascinating to watch, feeling relatively raw and personal instead of pretentious and whiney.

Look, I apologise for spending so long fixated on the metaphor side of Chef.  I know a lot of you will be able to get past it, or maybe not even clock onto it (although I have no idea how you would, I have seen South Park episodes with subtler allusions and metaphors), but it really does constitute the meat of the film.  Outside of it, you have the barest of plots about a father and son bonding over a shared enthusiasm (if you choose to read it like that and not, say, as the kid merely being a representative vessel for Favreau’s increasing realisation that he does still love making movies) and a very glossed over subplot of Favreau reconnecting with his ex-wife Vergara because… I actually don’t know, it’s that glossed over.  I should note that I’m not knocking the film for these things, I’m just letting you know how incidental the whole thing is.

Besides, there’s really not a whole lot to talk about with regards to the film outside of that subtext.  It’s all fine and pleasant.  There’s a runtime that’s just shy of two hours and though it feels like that at times, the film is paced well enough, and its content serves the whole metaphor point enough, to make it hard for me to find scenes to cut out to reduce that time to 90-or-so minutes.  There aren’t really any big laugh out loud moments and I guarantee that there are no jokes you’ll think back to 12 hours after seeing the film and go “that was hilarious” or some such, but the film is still funny.  It has very charming actors and actresses striking up a great enough chemistry with one another to make exchanges amusing, even if nothing particularly funny is being said.  Praise should especially go to EmJay Anthony who is not only hugely non-irritating, he’s able to keep up with Jo(h)ns Favreau and Leguizamo.  Food, meanwhile, is very often shot excellently, which is a hard thing to do right on film and television.  Not up to Hannibal standards of “mmm, that looks de-licious” but enough that I felt legitimately peckish for some high-quality grub as I left the cinema.  Also, for whatever it’s worth, I really like the film’s soul, Cuban and groove-laced soundtrack; Jon Favreau (and/or his music supervisor) has excellent taste in music.

Yes, I am stretching for stuff to talk about but there’s one last thing that deserves some conversation.  Chef loves social media.  Chef loves social media.  If social media and Chef were embodied by real life people (which the film kinda is, anyway), they would have a hopelessly romantic meet-cute, followed by a whirlwind fairy-tale romance that culminates in a magical beach-side wedding at sunset.  Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, Vine, the celebrity gossip website Holy Moly!; all these and more get prominent screen time and are actually relevant to the plot, as well as being the subject of hi-larious gags about how Favreau has no idea how the Internet works (he tweets an insult at the food critic who wrote the negative review cos he thought the service worked like text messaging).  It’s equal parts toe-curlingly awkward, like when your dad posts a “selfie” of himself having a day out in Scarborough, and strangely progressive.  Like, yeah, the film does mine the expected jokes out of Favreau not knowing how social media works and his son being a whizz with it because kids today and their computermabobs, but the usage of social media is actually vital to the plot.  It ends up being utilised as a tool for good, a way for Favreau and his low-budget venture to travel around drumming up buzz and connecting with the people who matter.  It’s refreshingly free of cynicism or confused-dad-“when-I-was-YOUR-age”-ness which, if nothing else, puts it above f*cking Transcendence.  It does officially go too far when 1 Second Everyday comes up for the sole purpose of adding some feels to the finale, but get over the initial “oh, no, Dad’s trying to get down with the kids” response you will inevitably have when it comes up and it’s not actually a problem.

Chef, then, is more of an extended therapy session for Jon Favreau than it is a movie in its own standalone right.  That therapy session, though, is always interesting and frequently entertaining; it’s definitely the most personal thing Favreau has been involved in in a good decade and it’s nice to see him seemingly fall back in love with his art again.  Outside of that, there’s not much here.  There are funnier films available now, there are more heartwarming films available now, there are TV shows with better food porn on the air right now.  On the surface level, it’s a mildly entertaining way to spend two hours.  I would, however, be lying if I said that I didn’t enjoy the film for what it is under that surface.  You may too, but that depends on both your knowledge of the film industry and your tolerance for “inside-baseball” stuff.

So, with Favreau having rediscovered his passion for filmmaking by going back to his roots and delivering a deeply personal work, I look forward to seeing what he’s going to transfer that passion into next!  … …“he’s making a live-action, CG version of The Jungle Book for Disney?”  Well, in that case, either he’s a quick forgiver, or I eagerly await the spiritual successor to this in 2020!

Callum Petch saw you standing on the opposite shore.  Follow him on the Twitters (@CallumPetch)!