The year is 2029. The world is a horrible place where those who are different are deemed a threat. Those with special or otherwise exceptional talents, skills and abilities are segregated out from the rest of society. Shunned. In some cases, destroyed. Hunted.
Fortunately this precludes Steve Norman, Owen Hughes, Andrew Brooker and Tony Black, who are allowed to just carry on as normal producing episodes of the Failed Critics Film Podcast for your delectation. Just in time for us to review the latest thriller in the X-Men movie franchise, Logan, starring Hugh Jackman as the titular mutant, aka Wolverine.
On this weeks show, Steve wonders why anybody would ever want to watch anything like the Dave Courtney straight-to-DVD geezer movie Thugs, Mugs and Dogs. We also have our regular What We’ve Been Watching, where Tony begins plotting a trip to Derby after Brooker reviews the new Iko Uwais actioner, Headshot; Owen rewatches Kill Bill Volume 1 and decides he definitely won’t be returning to Volume 2; Steve runs through the Netflix Original movie Tallulah; and Tony ponders the unfortunate situation where Friend Request is about as good a social-media influenced horror as we’re likely to get.
Join us again next week for blockbuster monster-movie, Kong: Skull Island.
Hosts Steve Norman and Owen Hughes and special guests Paul Field and Andrew Brooker indulge in a bit of back-slapping over the Oscars in this week’s episode.
If you look directly underneath your seat, every listener to the podcast will find a spectacular, one-of-a-kind goody-bag filled with luxury items, such as one of 20 possible variations of a DVD with “Hooligan” in the title, a plastic receptacle measuring approximately 10 cubic centimetres, a mini-statuette of Dave Courtney with no trousers on, and a metaphorical token of our appreciation (redeemable once per lifetime and not for resale).
We re-cap our picks for this year’s Academy Awards from last week’s episode and find out which of the team is going to be most happy and who will be the most disappointed with the final results. We also reminisce about Bill Paxton, who sadly passed away last week, before running through some of the films we’ve been watching lately.
Steve finally found a cinema showing Fences after his rant about staggered releases on the previous podcast; Paul got his hands on a copy of decent Brit-flick Bonded by Blood 2; Owen actually listened to Steve’s recommendation at the end of last week’s podcast and for some unfathomable reason watched Nazi Vengeance; and Brooker snuck a few new releases into the mix with Patriots Day and weird psychological thriller A Cure for Wellness.
Join us again next week as the team take on Wolverine in the latest X-Men movie, Logan.
You may have noticed that no podcast was published last week. Well, consider this week’s special Quizcast episode our apology. An episode was recorded, but there was no time to edit it between then and this week’s episode – hence why it’s just gone 4.09am and here I am trying to publish in time for people’s commutes on Tuesday!
In our second quizcast of the year, we’re rejoined by the FUTstock podcast’s (previously FUThead) Matt Aguilera and Matt Lambourne after April’s triumph. Making their debuts on the quizcast special are Ben Challoner and Daryl Bar from Sudden Double Deep, the triple bill title podcast.
In a strange turn of events, we actually let Paul Field onto an episode that’s entirely a quiz, despite his wretched run…. But not to worry, we’ve made him host so that Owen Hughes and Steve Norman can compete together as a team – we presume Steve was not aware of Owen’s dismal losing streak in our previous attempts to win this thing.
We’ll be back as normal next week.
Influenced by this week’s triple bill, getting ideas above their station and blowing a huge amount of money on an extravagant holiday because they didn’t quite know what else to do with it, Steve Norman and Owen Hughes return in a feature-length edition of the Failed Critics Podcast. With the help of their good friend Liam, the trio ramp things up to 11 and have a great time doing it!
I mean, that’s what you do when you turn an otherwise weekly serialised show into a big-budget production, right? Send all your mates on holiday to piss about in the sun whilst blowing huge wads of cash on a subpar (albeit much, much longer) episode of what you normally do?
Well, at least this episode isn’t subpar, even if it is longer than usual, as the Failed Critics each choose their three favourite movie adaptations of TV shows and/or characters.
Everything was up for grabs, from “much loved” family flicks like The Simpsons Movie (nobody chose it), PopEye (not a chance) and The Flintstones (you must be kidding), to big-budget Hollywood re-inventions like Mission:Impossible (not a sausage), The Man From UNCLE (close but no cigar) and The Equaliser (I hate to break it to you, but…). It really could have been anything. The Sweeney! (nope), Dad’s Army (nuh-uh) or even The Last Airbender (absolutely not, no way, not a snowflake’s chance in hell!)
As mentioned, this was a pretty full-on episode. Not only did we pack in all of the triple bill choices, but we even found time for Owen to review 1960’s classic horror The Innocents on Liam’s recommendation, for Steve to dissect modern-war drama Lone Survivor, and for Liam to scratch his head over the documentary Spellbound. The news this week also saw the team look back on the work of the recently departed Caroline Aherne and Michael Cimino as well as Chris Evans stepping down from Top Gear.
Join us again next week as something strange happens in our neighbourhood. Where’d I put that phone..?
With temporary host Paul Field getting to the ballot box and voting in blind panic to leave the Failed Critics Podcast after two long successful weeks, we finally have our Steve Norman back!
Luckily, Steve hasn’t done a Roy Hodgson as his team of Owen Hughes and Andrew Brooker don’t bottle it on the grandest stage of all. Assuming that you agree that the “grandest stage” is of course a free audio podcast.
Although they are still a bunch of fucking £50k fucking cocaine prostitute fucking limousine fucking cunts.
This week’s episode features reviews of three brand new releases, with a main review of Roland Emmerich’s sci-fi disaster feature (well, what other kind of film was he likely to make?) Independence Day: Resurgence. Set 20 years after the original, the aliens have come to reap their revenge – only this time, they’re… just… going to do the same thing again. Probably because they knew there would be no Will Smith this time.
Owen and Brooker also find time to discuss a fantasy movie worth watching as the Italian-French-English Tale of Tales arrives in cinemas – and on VOD services such as Curzon and Google Play simultaneously – just a touch too late to show how well the UK can work with our European brethren.
Speaking of Italian productions, Brooker also talks up Suburra, the crime film of the year that you probably haven’t heard of. Meanwhile Steve conjures up a review of The Conjuring (see what I did there?) and Owen continues the horror-film discussion by reminding everybody how great Hellraiser is.
All of this plus Steve’s reaction to Adam Sandler’s latest Netflix feature The Do-Over, James Earl Jones voicing Darth Vader in Star Wars: Rogue One, and the tragic death of Anton Yelchin.
Your official (not “official” official) 17th best podcast, Failed Critics, as designated by New Media Europe’s ‘Best UK Podcast of 2016’ award. Voting closed on Monday 30th May, with The Failed Critics Podcast ranked 17th out of 100 based on the number of Facebook votes we received. Thank you so much to anybody who helped us achieve this high a position by taking a few seconds to vote.
On this week’s episode, we draft in Underground Nights‘ very own Paul Field to help us run through a triple-bill of movie stars, where he and hosts Steve Norman and Owen Hughes each pick three actors whom they consider to be the very definition of the very subjective term ‘film star’.
Before all of that, Owen barely has chance to make himself comfortable before reviewing the new Michael Bay produced Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows after seeing it earlier that afternoon. Meanwhile, Paul introduces us to Victoria, a German film shot entirely in one take, and Steve catches up on some Shane Black with The Long Kiss Goodnight.
The news this week has the trio mulling over Tom Hiddleston’s imminent appointment as James Bond, as well as John Carpenter’s fabled return to the Halloween franchise. This, following a shambolic quiz that hopefully won’t sound as shambolic post-edit as it did pre-edit.
Join us again next week where we’ll be reviewing both Warcraft and The Nice Guys.
Welcome to this week’s episode of the Failed Critics Podcast, with your hosts … erm … Stan? Stuart? Stephen? Steve, Steve Norman, that’s the fella, and Owen Hopkins– I mean, Hughes. They’re joined by Andrew Brooker to review, look at, discuss, scratch their heads and generally mull over the latest Fox-driven superhero movie, X-Men: Apocalypse.
Before all of that, the trio run through the latest film news to cross their paths; namely the trailers for Ghostbusters (and why it might be OK to not like it), Star Trek Beyond, The Purge: Election Year and Independence Day: Resurgence. There’s also room for a discussion about Nicolas Winding Refn’s plans to remake Witchfinder General, as well as an astonished glance towards the impressive cast list of Thor: Ragnarok, boasting the likes of Cate Blanchett, Karl Urban and Jeff Goldblum.
As ever, the ongoing, never ending quiz battle between Owen and Steve rages on, this week pitting the latter against Brooker as they try to work out which X-Men names are real and which Owen has simply made up. In What We’ve Been Watching: Steve revisits a the first and the most recent of the X-Men movies prior to his trip to see Apocalypse; Brooker MC’s over Magic Mike XXL; and Owen gushes over cult zombie classic The Return of the Living Dead.
Join us again next week for a special movie-star triple bill episode.
Hello listeners, what’s your boggle? We wouldn’t normally try to conjure up the image of a painted wall with the episode title, but we were somewhat shambolic this week, even by our own standards. With host Steve Norman suffering from agonising tooth ache during much of the recording, Owen Hughes and guests Andrew Brooker and Tony Black ran amok.
A new round of the quiz kicked the show off, pitting Steve against Brooker and Tony, with Owen in the quizmaster’s chair, before the group discussed the potential Fantastic Four sequel and latest Assassins Creed trailer. As ever, What We’ve Been Watching followed, as Owen revisited 90’s classic Demolition Man, Brooker spread the love for recently cancelled sitcom Undateable, and Tony returned to Superman.. er… Returns.
Only two new releases made their way onto the podcast. Brutal thriller Green Room was the main feature, but as penance for not seeing anything at all in the last seven days, Steve still attempted to review The Angry Birds Movie without having watched a single second of it. Luckily Brooker had seen it and was able to clarify a few minor points!
Before we leave you, we have just one request. No, it isn’t that you should review us on iTunes, especially not after this week’s shambles! But instead, if you’re on Facebook, sling us a quick vote in New Media Europe’s Best UK Podcast Award 2016, for which we have been nominated. One click of a check-box is all that’s required and will help us out enormously. Thank you! http://newmediaeurope.com/2016/nmeu-awards-2016-stage-1/
Somebody hit the emergency switch at FC HQ earlier today. Only, what they didn’t realise, was that rather than stopping the machinery from whirring so that they could untangle their hair from the press, it instead sent all of the guests that we keep on stasis in their cryochambers shooting straight out of the vents and into a large pile of limbs, flesh and scrawled-on notepads near the FC skip.
Whilst we sort that mess out, the only two left undamaged were hosts Steve Norman and Owen Hughes who present this week’s podcast without the aid of any guests whatsoever. A first for Failed Critics!
Actually, all that stuff about cryochambers and a FC HQ is a load of bollocks. We just decided that for an experiment, given that we’re in the post-Civil War lull, that Owen and Steve should try presenting the show on their own. Does it work? Well, it’s not for us to say, but we still manage to squeeze over 100 minutes out of the pair of them. They look at the solo-Black Widow movie rumours, the Power Rangers reboot costume controversy, and gloss over last night’s BAFTA TV results.
Fresh from defeat last week, Owen explains why booby-prize Spice World is bad, but not the worst film he’s seen as a result of losing the quiz. Steve reviews new release Bad Neighbours 2 in our What We’ve Been Watching section, whilst Owen also reviews 2016’s indie thriller Hush.
Returning for the first time in a long while on this week’s episode is a triple bill. In honour of Steve and Owen going it alone, they each choose three films with minimal casts. There’s a beguiling mix of old and new, big and small budget; it’s fair to say there’s a wide range of films discussed on the show! Not only that, but your questions sent in to us on Twitter were answered. Everything from picking Bond songs that aren’t Bond songs, to what type of caravan is best for a bit o’ rockin’. Well… I say “answered”.
Join us again next week as we most definitely will be having guests back on the show. Please let us know if you think the little experiment worked, or if it was a failure!
Battle lines have been drawn. Treaties are being drafted. The U.N. were informed.
It’s Steve ‘Captain Anyway’ Norman on one side, using his sense of justice and principles to determine what’s right. Opposite is Owen ‘Irony Man’ Hughes, putting his logic and rational thinking to the test. Listeners, choose your side as Civil War erupts on this week’s Failed Critics Podcast!
Andrew Brooker and Brian Plank are caught in the crossfire, therefore rather than being referred to as “guests” this week, you can legitimately call them Failed Critics collateral damage.
If you haven’t guessed what the main review on the latest episode is yet, then go speak to your doctor. But just for clarification, it is indeed the latest Marvel Cinematic Universe blockbuster, Captain America: Civil War – and boy do we talk, and talk, and talk about this one. We have our usual spoiler-free review later in the show, followed by a Spoiler Alert after the end credits, where the team go into more depth without worrying about ruining the plot, twists, characters… or anything else for that matter.
It’s not only Marvel on the pod this week, although the show does kick off with a chat about a potential Punisher solo-series on Netflix after a short hastily prepared quiz. Speaking of, Steve sinks his teeth into the latest Netflix movie Special Correspondents, starring Ricky Gervais. Owen and Brooker also review the latest James Cullen Bressack / Zack Ward indie-thriller Restoration (out today (3rd May!)), before Brooker also tackles video-game adaptation Ratchet & Clank and Brian has a look at cult classic Rollerball.
Join us again next week as we pray that our cinemas show something, anything, other than just Civil War for the next three months.
Hey listeners, the episode title is a nice little 90’s earworm for you as we party like it’s 1999. It’s our birthday! We’re going to party like it’s our birthday – because, as I mentioned, it is actually our birthday. Today, in fact! The Failed Critics Podcast has hit yet another milestone and reached our fourth birthday. Hip hip…
Usually, it’d be up to the guests (i.e. you) to get the birthday-boys (i.e. us) presents, but it’s cool. We know it’s been a tough year for you and, you know, who really cares about presents at our age, right? I mean, we’re not mad. Sure, a little disappointed but that’s society’s fault. No, really, don’t feel bad. Forget I even mentioned it. Here, we’ve got you something instead.
The first ever (and given the amount of time and effort, the only ever) issue of the Failed Critics Magazine – in a handy to download and read pdf format: FailedCriticsMagIssue001.
There’s articles on Brooker’s favourite films of the year so far; Steve has finally put finger to keyboard on his oft heralded Die Hard concept; and Owen has written a fairly lengthy history on how Failed Critics came to be. It’s only 10 pages long and hopefully will find somebody out there interested in reading it.
We also celebrate on the podcast with a brand new Quizcast! Steve Norman retains his comfortable seat as quizmaster, meaning Carole Petts joins team Failed Critics alongside Owen Hughes. Both Tony Black and Matt Latham return to represent reigning champions Black Hole Media. In a shock twist, Matt Lambourne has switched sides; once a representative of Failed Critics, he now joins his partner in crime, Matt Aguilera, of the Futhead Podcast.
We’ll return to our regular podcast next week, but until then, happy birthday everyone! Thanks for either downloading the podcast or visiting the website over the past four years. We love you all ok bye.
The second episode of the second series of Front Row kicks off with Owen and Paul talking about the music that inspired, influenced or otherwise impacted them when they were younger. From 70’s punk to 90’s pop, they try and share the tunes that remind them most of their youth.
(Of course, as per usual, there’s no full songs available on the podcast. For that, you need to tune into Bucks101 Radio via Facebook or download the TuneIn app for Android / iOS and listen live on Tuesday’s at 5pm!)
There was still room in the show for our regular segments with Owen quelling his S-Club-fuelled-anger long enough to review Disney’s latest flick, The Jungle Book. Whereas Paul stopped dancing and singing along to S Club 7 long enough in the studio to mention the latest round of football results, the controversy around Alastair Cook’s helmet debacle and snooker legend Steve Davis’ retirement, all in the sports round-up.
- Outkast – Hey Ya! (Paul)
- The Offspring – Gotta Get Away (Owen)
- Elbow – One Day Like This (Paul)
- UK Subs – I Live In A Car (Owen)
- S Club 7 – Bring It All Back (Paul)
- Blur – Beetlebum (Owen)
- Hoosiers – Goodbye Mr A (Paul)
- Nirvana – All Apologies (Owen)
Welcome to this week’s episode of the Failed Critics Podcast. You know how we sometimes swear a lot and are rather crass? Yet, occasionally, we have to add an extra warning that the levels of explicit language and vulgar comments exceed our usually-already-fairly-high volume..? Well, this is one of those weeks.
Just as he was last week, Paul Field is back on the podcast along with hosts Steve Norman and Owen Hughes, and was once again given license to take over the quiz. The theme he went for is very tangibly linked to the first-person extremely graphic violent action movie Hardcore Henry, our main review this week.
We also have two other new releases to review this week as Owen looks at Jeff Nichols’ latest offering, the foreboding sci-fi drama Midnight Special, whilst Paul reviews Danish-noir sequel The Absent One. Never heard of it? Fear not! Paul also reviews the previous film, Keeper of the Lost Causes, in ‘What We’ve Been Watching’, where Owen lavishes praise on the documentary Future Shock! The Story of 2000AD and Steve ponders the point of Pegg with Absolutely Anything.
Join us again next week for presumably less potty-mouthed frivolities as we review The Jungle Book.
Three clueless bellends gather for the latest Failed Critics Podcast with hosts Steve Norman and Owen Hughes joined by our long-suffering guest, Paul Field. So long suffering is he, in fact, that he’s hosting this week’s quiz and theming it on injuries, suffering and accidents in movies.
Quite fitting then that this week’s new releases take in: notorious YouTubers (we don’t know what that really means) causing grief in Natural Born Pranksters; bone-breaking British feel-good comedy Eddie the Eagle; pointless gruesome horror remake Martyrs; and the independent horror film putting Martyrs to shame, with Anguish.
There’s also time on this episode for the team to cover a re-watch of Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (where Owen gets all ranty about the poor level of criticism on offer for Zack Snyder’s blockbuster), British crime drama Orthodox and sci-fi classic Alien. We even cover the Suicide Squad reshoots and Wolf Creek TV spin-off in our news section.
Join us again next week as the same line-up tackle first-person action thriller Hardcore Henry.